I know it appears odd, particularly to my readers from several years ago, that I've dabbled little in politics and the hilarity behind it. Many remember during the 2008 election year, I, along with a few others, first exposed the possibility that Barack Obama may not be a natural born U.S. citizen, one of the few requirements necessary to obtain the position of President. The story gained some ground, hit mainstream news, and then surprisingly disappeared beneath the rug that we figuratively sweep things under. I have no intention of re-hashing that story now although I may plunge into it again as we more closely approach the actual election. If one would like to read more on the Obama birth certificate scandal, please look at my blog archives and read the stories from that period in time.
Since the last presidential election, I blogged little as life consumed me, then returned to write but chose subjects that I personally find more interesting like music, concerts, and motorcycles. I've also attempted to adopt the discipline of simplicity which has led me to almost entirely abandon television so I am not the least bit up to date on current events or the details of where we stand right now in the 2012 election process. So today, I have the distinct advantage of writing from a vantage of naivety and innocence which may cause me to appear stupid or ignorant, or on the other hand, allow me to offer a fresh, fairly unbiased perspective. But I heard bits and pieces of news today that struck my funny bone so hard that I felt compelled to write something tonight.
Continue to keep in mind that I've not followed politics at all for the past three years so in my research to brush up, imagine my amazement as I discover a list of 16 Candidates for the Republican nomination for President of the United States. I understand that as the incumbent, protocol dictates no Democrat may compete for the ticket against Barack Obama, so please let's look at this list and allow me the opportunity for naive comment.
Herman Cain
Knowing little of the man, I instantly liked him as a potential candidate when I heard his view of the political system and realized the long list of qualifications on his resume. I understand that days ago he withdrew from the race because of allegations of sexual misconduct. I don't quite understand that. I observed the same behavior from a Mr. Clinton many years ago and it actually propelled his popularity to a whole new level. Not that I condone any of it but I guess what's good for the goose (Democrat) may not be equally good for the gander (Republican). Or maybe it's a racist thing? I would love to stir that pot!
Newt Gingrich
I thought this man disappeared from the political scene many years ago after his tenure as Speaker of the House of Representatives? Now apparently out of retirement and the purported front runner for the nomination, is a man that has already buried the stories of his sexual misconduct. But I did hear that Herman Cain was a possible running mate for Newt so that would make an interesting ticket of the Two Players, bigger skirt chasers than Al and Bill?
And the story that caught my attention today and forced me back into blogging politics was the leak that Newt Gingrich used tax payer dollars three times for anal bleaching. Who has their ass bleached? Why is anyone staring at it? How expensive is the process? I'm quick to follow trends so I am now interested in this anal bleaching. Who performs this procedure? Endless questions enter my mind so it's unlikely that I will let this story cool for a while.
John Huntsman
Maybe not this year but very soon speaking Chinese will be a prerequisite for the candidacy. So Mr. Huntsman, maybe you're too early.
Gary Johnson
He does not attend church, is pro-choice, pro-immigration, and an outspoken opponent of the war on drugs who favors the legalization of marijuana. I don't agree with much of his ideology except he is anti big government and I like the idea of buying weed at the store. But shouldn't this guy be on the other party's ticket?
Fred Karger
God smacked me with this one years ago so gay bashing is no longer part of my routine. I admire the man for being openly gay and still aligning himself with Republican rhetoric.
Andy Martin
I remember Andy from many years ago as he was one of the leaders in the pursuit to expose the citizenship status of Barack Obama, and I still correspond with him occasionally by email. But unless I'm wrong, I thought Andy was a Democrat. Did he party switch? This smells a little fishy to me. And after Blagovich and Obama, do we want another Chicagoan?
Jimmy McMillan
Another former democrat and member of the "Rent is Too Damn High Party", as well as a Viet Nam veteran and karate expert, I like this guy. Not that he has a chance but he looks very cool and like he'd be a blast to hang out with. I will have fun blogging him in the future. And Jimmy, if by chance you read this, please contact me. I'd love to interview you!
Tom Miller
This man is a career flight attendant. I respect the profession but how does that qualify one for the presidency?
Ron Paul
You can't help but like this Libertarian leaning medical doctor and congressman. He believes in reform and he believes in himself and his supporters are dogmatic about all of it. This type of man could live in that big, white house in the capital and actually make a difference instead of just talking about it.
Rick Perry
I admire the things that he stands for but didn't we already try an evangelical, good looking, grass roots, smiling, millionaire Texan? What is Einstein's definition of insanity? Look it up if you don't know.
Buddy Roemer
I know nothing about him other than he is another former Democrat. Why all the ship jumping this campaign?
Mitt Romney
This man appears solid, has a tremendous resume, and apparently the ability to address our economic woes. And I understand that he along with Newt Gingrich are the current front runners. I don't need to flip a coin on that one!
Rick Santorum
Shouldn't he just be supporting his friend Mitt?
Matt Snyder
This man claims that he is a representative of the people. I thought that was the entire concept! What am I missing?
Vern Wuensche
Contractor and businessman, this man appears to be another capable of assessing and addressing our financial woes. But how could he ever unseat Obama?
Michele Bachmann
I saved the best for last! Why is this upstanding woman not the front runner? She maintains impeccable character, shows integrity on every level, stands firm on conservative issues, displays superior intellect, speaks articulately, and shows absolutely no signs of dishonesty or abuse of power. Anyone reading this article, please take the time to learn more about this incredible woman. Besides, if you ask me, she's a lot hotter looking than any of the other goons!
My Choice!
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