Happy Thanksgiving to all during this particularly trying time in history where as a world, we face increased levels of war, faltering major global economies, instability in values, morals and ethics, and a huge level of noncooperation between all levels of society and political affiliation.
Most utilize this time of year to pause and reflect, thinking back on the past year, to at least show a certain level of gratitude for the wonderful things in their life that they consider blessings. It's odd how as a society we've become programmed to believe that all good things are blessings and all bad, curses. For me this year has flipped that mindset on it's head.
During the past 18 months, I've experienced what most consider horrible curses. In reality, it's probably an example of what the Bible describes as "We reap what we sow", or for others, karma. I lost my wife, my business, felt alienated by family, and ended up working for the man that I liquidated my company assets to and rather than exploit or capitalize on my expertise and experience, he psychologically attacked me and mentally abused me at every opportunity. Then to add insult to injury, I later fell 16 feet, landed on my head and shoulder, winding up in the hospital for a week with lacerated skull, four broken ribs, a broken clavicle and a collapsed lung, or more correctly referred to as a pneumothorax. Then one week after release from the hospital, I returned for surgery on my clavicle to implant a titanium plate to straighten the bone.
Yes, I must admit, that for much of the year I felt "wounded of spirit", not a good place to be after referring to Proverbs 18:14, "The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?" Living in this state of mind leads to negativity, victim reasoning, unnecessary physical displays of grievance, and the blaming of others for our difficulties. The effect on psyche generated by this "state of being" leads to severe bitterness and depression, of which I fell prey.
A few consecutive events in my life opened my mind to a whole new way of existence. I celebrated my 50th birthday by navigating a 1961 Harley-Davidson panhead from Fort Myers to Daytona Beach to meet those close to me for somewhat of a party. Then two weeks after my return, I experienced the accident that added the additional brokenness of body. During this time, I witnessed the love of Christ in others around me as they displayed care for me when I could not take care of myself, not out of anything I deserved, but unconditionally out of genuine concern for me. I became acutely aware of what constitutes the reality and truthfulness in friendship and observed others fall away who through deception and manipulation faked love only for personal gain and benefit.
During this transitional period in me, I metamorphosed from being one "wounded of spirit" to one experiencing "brokenness of spirit". God desires to find us there per Psalm 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Appearing as only a play on words, this slight change in mental state leads to acknowledging wrong, contrition, humility, teachability, gratitude and leads us to seek after God.
And on this Thanksgiving Day in 2011, this is where I find myself. I'm not yet whole and probably never will be but God is in the process of repairing me because finally through brokenness I allowed that to happen. Four weeks ago I should have died but through the grace of God, I'm now able to discern those who truly love me, appreciate simple things in life like the freshness in a morning breeze, the smell of a flower, and the laughter of grandchildren, and have an openness and new awareness to my surroundings and situation. I feel no bitterness toward those who cause me pain and feel joy throughout difficult and trying times.
So in a very non-traditional Thanksgiving manner, I would like to say that I am deeply thankful for the brokenness in my life, and the friends and family in my life who brought my new awareness into focus. As a result I'm allowing a dear friend to host at my house a non-traditional Thanksgiving dinner for others who are broken or have been cast aside by false lovers to celebrate in sincere humility and gratitude the small things that we normally take for granted.
And as a side note, I thank God with all my being for the health of my nine grandchildren, as I've watched others devastated this year by the effects of cancer, accidents and abuse.
God Bless you all!
